Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
