Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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