He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
