ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
