i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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