their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
