so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
a search helicopter?!
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
