So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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