Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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