woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
