obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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