He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
