Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize