what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
