I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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