I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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