im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
