you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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