I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
