i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
