and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
ttyl tear gas
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
