If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize