Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
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