Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
The air taste purple.
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