Define "chronic" masturbator.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
