"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
