Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
