my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
