96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
