i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
