No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Even my vagina gasped.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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