somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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