i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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