I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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