Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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