So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
