genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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