fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
He uses pillows to masturbate.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
