I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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