Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
