at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
