Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
