I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
