Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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