we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
