Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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