his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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