I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
