You smell like stripper and shame
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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