is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Randomize
