All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize