Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
