she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
