I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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