btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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