is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
