...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Pants are for mortals
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