We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
two words: eviction party
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
