this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
