his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
