yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
