Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
