NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
