i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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