speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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