Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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