You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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