Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
My dick has a subreddit
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
