you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
The power of my boobs compel you
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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