He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
